8 ½ STONE – AND STILL FULL OF ISSUES! LIVE TOUR

‘Britain’s most talked-about columnist’ The Guardian

To celebrate the publication of Liz Jones’s first novel, 81/2 stone, about one woman’s quest to be exactly that, and which is ‘the funniest novel since Bridget Jones’s Diary’, according to Liz’s mum, who is long dead, the UK’s most popular newspaper columnist goes on the road with her not inconsiderable collection of Jimmy Choos to enlighten the women of Britain (and a smattering of enlightened/brow beaten-to-come-along men) about the horrors of the glossy world of high fashion, a world in which the people are so stupid Liz once saw the name ‘Kate Moose’ on the back of a front-row chair.  

She will regale you with tales of what it was like to be a magazine editor travelling the world in search of the perfect pedicure, corralling Hollywood stars to grace the cover (which Oscar winner needed airbrushing to make her put on weight, and which stick insect supermodel has cellulite?), before being sacked (though she did manage to smuggle 22 designer handbags out the building). 

Ever wondered what it is like to go under the plastic surgeon’s knife for a boob job and a facelift? And what the ignominy feels like to have done all that, and been on a diet since you were 11 in order to be beach body ready at all times, even in snow, and yet still your (frankly obese, Cheesy Wotsit-appendaged) husband cheats on you for someone younger, dimmer and slimmer? 

Liz will take you on a journey through her 30-plus years in Fleet Street, from the days when she was Knitting Patterns Editor at Woman’s Realm (Britain’s population of women spent many moons in an impenetrable knot) to being shortlisted as  Columnist of the Year 2019 for her controversial, compulsive toil in The Mail on Sunday. You will laugh. You will cry. 

Waterproof mascara will be on sale in the lobby.